Welcome to the “Be Fully Persuaded” series! Today Lisa from The Army Chap’s Wife shares how God has provided for their family through a period of unemployment. I pray that “Walking in Twilight” will encourage you to stand strong in your faith and that God will make Romans 4:20-21 a reality for all of us as we focus on Him and His Word:
Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.
Romans 4:20-21 (NIV)
Walking in Twilight by Lisa
Two and a half years…30 months…912 days (give or take).
That’s how long my husband has been without a full-time job. That’s how long we’ve lived in a state of flux–a twilight. Our new normal has become uncertainty, change, and…TRUST.
When Ron’s Associate Pastor position ended in June 2010, we had about four months’ worth of living expenses in our savings account. As an Army Reserve Chaplain, he worked one weekend a month at his unit. That amounted to about $600 a month, the only income we had to count on.
As of right now, we have not missed a house payment, gone without food or other necessities, and have even been able to afford some of the “extras.”
There have been times when we weren’t even sure why or how it was working. Times when, on paper, there was no way it should have worked! There have been many times when God provided an extra Army training school or special assignment that took care of several months’ income at once. And there have been times when something unexpected and extra would come through for no apparent reason.
More than the financial needs, however, God has provided PEACE through this process.
My husband, though he struggled with the effects of the events that led up to the loss of his full-time position, has remained rock-steady in his belief that God will provide for us. And he has never wavered in his trust that when the time is right God will bring the right position for him.
I have not been quite so steady or unwavering.
I haven’t struggled with the trust for finances as much as the fear of the unknown…the not knowing what is coming next. It has taken a while for me to learn what it means to be okay with not knowing. Truthfully, I’m still not totally there yet! But, as God has led us, just one step at a time through the twilight, I have been learning that peace can come even when I don’t have all the answers.
There’s a phrase from an older hymn that says:
“Many things about tomorrow,
I don’t seem to understand.
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand.”
Those lines have often been a comfort to me.
I’ve learned to ask some pointed questions of myself along the way as well.
- Do I believe God has a good plan for our future? (Jeremiah 29:11)
- Do I trust that He will bring about that plan in the right time?
- Do I believe that He has valuable lessons to teach during the process that are as important as the end result?
- Am I willing to walk forward, even in the twilight, or am I going to sit and pout and demand answers?
There have been moments where I haven’t been able to answer those questions very positively!
But through this 2 1/2 year period, as God has proven himself faithful again and again, trust and peace are coming easier. Even in the twilight.
Lisa is an Army Chaplain’s wife, a doula, a homeschooling mama of two beautiful girls in their pre-teen and teen years, an extreme dark chocolate lover, and an avid movie watcher. She is a word-lover, takes way too many pictures of her cat, and is consistently amazed by the love and faithfulness of her heavenly Father. She blogs as regularly as she can at The Army Chap’s Wife.
Post photo by: ndanger (Provided by Lisa, The Army Chap’s Wife)
Bio photo provided by Lisa, The Army Chap’s Wife