I haven’t been honest with you. At times I’ve presented myself on the blog in a way that isn’t a true representation of my life. I’ve hinted that things aren’t always great around here, but I haven’t been transparent about what’s really going on. It’s time to come clean.
(Deep breath here. It’s difficult for me to be authentic and transparent in my writing. I’m working on that.)
We have our share of job and financial challenges. Thanks to God’s grace and provision, that always works itself out. What we haven’t been able to “fix” as easily, though, are Roo’s health challenges. I’ve really tried to downplay or ignore this topic on my blog.
The truth is, Roo deals with gastrointestinal problems, food and environmental allergies, an immune deficiency, and chronic sinus infections. Her iron levels are low for no known reason, and we recently discovered something strange about her carotid artery. She was also born with bilateral syndactyly of the second and third toes. She will be having surgery soon to remove her adenoids and tonsils and might have sinus work done too. If sinus surgery is required, it will be her third one. (She’s not five years old yet!) Roo has recently been referred to a geneticist to see if there is an overarching diagnosis that will make all of this make sense.
I get overwhelmed sometimes. I get tired of giving her medicine, and she gets tired of taking it. Finding new foods that fit her restricted diet (that she’ll actually eat) is a challenge. Frequent doctors’ appointments and testing (not to mention surgeries) are stressful. I weary of constantly checking EOBs and calling insurance companies, clinics, and hospitals about billing issues.
Would I change anything? Yes and no. I would love to see Roo completely healed and whole physically. I would change that if I could. However, I realize other families deal with much more serious issues than Roo does, and I wouldn’t want to trade places. Nor would I want who Roo is to change. She is a beautiful, delightful, precious little comedienne. I can’t imagine my life without her.
So for now, I pray for grace and strength for each day. We try to make doctors, medications, and tests just brief interruptions in our days, not their focus. We try to remember that ” . . . our present troubles are small and won’t last very long.” (2 Corinthians 4:17a NLT)