To the Special Needs Mom Who is DONE

To the Special Needs Mom Who is DONE - jenniferajanes.com

To the Special Needs Mom Who is DONE

I’ve wanted to write this to you ever since we last talked, met for tea, or chatted via text or private message. (And it holds true for those of you I haven’t had the privilege of meeting yet too!)

I want you to know this:

I hear you.

I hear you when you say you are DONE. I hear you when you say you are beyond tired, past weary, and don’t know what else to do. I hear when you when you say you’re ready to throw in the towel, when you’ve gone to the last parent-teacher conference, heard the last evaluation result, spent your last night in the hospital, or sat through your last therapy session in yet another waiting room. I hear you when you tell me, through tears, that you feel like a terrible mother yet don’t know what you could do differently.

I love you.

Yes, even if I don’t know you beyond an interaction or two on social media, I love you. Behind the tears and the hurt and the frustration, I see a mom who loves her child fiercely but is just worn out with the fight—always fighting for a diagnosis, fighting for services, fighting for medications, fighting for appointments, fighting for people to give your child a chance. I love you for fighting for your child, for your marriage, for your other children, even when you haven’t had more than a few hours’ sleep in forever. I love you for being honest with yourself and with me, for sharing your struggle, for admitting that your life isn’t as perfect as you’d like for everyone to believe. I love you for the way you sacrifice for your family, almost always placing others’ needs before your own.

I pray for you.

My heart aches for you, and I often feel the same way, so I pray for you. I pray for all of you I’ve heard from, and for the countless numbers I’ve never had contact with who are in similar situations. I pray for God to blanket us all with His peace, a strong sense of His love, and an assurance of His presence stronger than we’ve ever felt before. I pray that He will give us favor with specialists, doctors, and insurance companies, with therapy facilities, our employers, our spouse’s employer, and everyone we meet during a day’s time. I remind Him of His promise to provide for our needs and thank Him for meeting every one. I pray for grace and strength for each one of us to get through the day. I pray that He would allow us to be His hands and feet to our families and others we meet in the course of our days. I pray that He would send you the support and encouragement you need to go on, knowing that no matter how “done” you are, you will get up tomorrow to do it all again, because you do it for love.

I don’t have all the answers, but I’m here.

I am honored when you ask me to recommend resources or tell me how my writing has helped or ministered to you in some way. I am blessed that you trust me with your heartaches, concerns, and fears. I enjoy hearing your family’s triumphs and victories. I love the pictures you send me of your precious children and your pet chickens. I don’t have all the answers for your situation, but I hear you, I love you, and I’m praying for you and your families.

In His love,

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How may I pray for you today? Please leave a comment, or send me an email or private message via social media.

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18 Responses to To the Special Needs Mom Who is DONE

  1. Haley says:

    I needed this :-) Thank you! You’re such a blessing to me!

  2. Jeannie Schnur says:

    My 4 yr old son has a seizure disorder and along with that he has terrible sleep issues. Last night He was awake all night and therefore I was awake all night. Please pray that with God’s help I can get through this day. My husband is also out of town for business so it’s tough not having my other half.

  3. leana says:

    Thank you! This was more needed than you realized today! ! :)

  4. Connie Thomason says:

    Jennifer, I woke up at 2:55am, and I went strait to your post. Such an inspirational piece! I would love for parents and caregivers from around the world enlarge your post, print it, and place in the car, hang on the refrigerator, or just keep in arms reach so they can read it and feel rest assured they are loved and not alone. Bless you Jennifer for this heartfelt piece!

    • Thank you so much for your words of support and encouragement, Connie! I think it’s important for all of us to realize that we’re not alone and others care! I have just talked to too many parents lately and had to let it all out!

  5. Jeannette says:

    Thank you.

  6. Ashley says:

    i read your post from We Are THAT Family which lead me to browse your blog. thank you so much for writing this! i have a 13 year old son with Aspergers and i need to hear this stuff and say it to others more often. it is a hard job.

    i will keep you and your family in my prayers. hang in there. thanks for reminding us that we are not alone.

    • Thank you for the kind words and for encouraging me! I’m thankful that you found my words encouraging. I appreciate the prayers, and you are definitely not alone. (Most definitely not!)

  7. McKenzie Cohen says:

    Thank you Jennifer …it means soo much, touches my heart and puts tears in my eyes at how much you understand and know exactly what to say. It helped me take a deep breath and ready myself to keep going!!

  8. Erin McGuire-Sladek says:

    I admit, we are not religious, but I came across your site and after reading a few posts, I read this and just cried. You hit everything on the head. Thank you for writing this :)

  9. Pingback: To the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs - Jennifer A. Janes

  10. Mb says:

    THANK YOU!! What a GREAT way to the start of my day… I needed that!! ?

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